Sigh.

I admit i am very self-conscious. Yeah, you guys know that. -dies-

I guess it’s just innate. I’m not trying to be in the limelight or whatever it is. But somehow it bothers me. Like you don’t? C’mon, then you won’t be buying the nicest(in your own perception) things that make you look good. Right? Oh well.

–

Yeah, I’m on the quest to find blogs owned by real brainies(top schs). And, i found it! Like loads of it.

Upon reading incessantly, i discovered 5 interesting facts.

1) They fuckingly hate studying but no matter what, they still study damn hard for it. Even for the subjects that they hate most. Apparently, it’s the chinese language. -.-
2) They swear like nobody’s business.
3) They study damn hard and play uber hard too.
4) They are carved to be perfectionists.
5) A B or even an A2 is never enough.

And they do have their fair share of social problems like weight and self-esteem issues. They’re still humans, afterall.

My take, 2 I’s : Impressed and inspired.

I really admire them for their strong determination to excel despite fierce competition from their peers. They’re freaking humble too. It’s like one of them was hoping to at least scrape through HMT but got an A2. Fish.

But of course, some reclused themselves and immerse their time in truckload of books.

And some still can do superbly well despite their busy trainings/social activities/play/you name it.

Any failures along the way, they remain strong and stood still.

I guess, the last line was not for me. I admit I was a freaking perfectionist with my grades when i was in sec 1. That was like the best grades ever. I swear i’ll never ever see soo much A1s ever. Reaching up the pinnacle was seriously not easy.

I mugged like shit every single day and slept for like a few hours per day. As the years passed by, i began to slack and town-ed like always. My grades dropped, not drastically but substantially.

From then on, i was motivation-less. Nothing propelled me forward and i was like what-the-hell-i-dun-care attitude.

I picked myself up during Prelims but i guess it was kinda late. Hah. And seriously, there was still no encouragement to move on. Sometimes, i regret not continuing the sec 1 stint because i’m damn sure it’ll help.

But whatever it is, what’s done cannot be undone.

–

Sigh. Why can’t i be as motivated and brainy like them? Life’s never unfair.

losing sane

~ by euphoriabro on February 28, 2007.